My Father Didn’t Kill Himself By Russell Nohelty

My Father Didn’t Kill Himself

By

Russell Nohelty

Genre:  YA Mystery. This book deals with death, loss, and grief. There are difficult concepts to deal with and uncomfortable situations.

Author Bio

Russell Nohelty is a writer, publisher, and consultant. He is the publisher of Wannabe Press and its main author. Russell likes to write genre fiction with deep character studies. He’s sadistic with his characters, putting them in the worst situations and watching them claw their way back up, just to kick them back into the abyss again. Russell started his career writing comics, and now writes novels and children’s books as well. 

Social Media Links

@russellnohelty (twitter/Instagram)
www.facebook.com/russellnohelty,

Blurb:
How would you cope is somebody you love committed suicide?

Delilah's father is the greatest man she has ever known. When he commits suicide her world is shattered. She can't eat. She can't sleep. Her bubbly personality becomes ascorbic. All she wants is to be left alone.

When his insurance policy refuses to pay out, Delilah sets out to prove what she's known all along: that his suicide was in fact a murder.

A story of getting over grief and learning those you idolize aren't perfect, told in blog posts through Delilah and her best friend.

On the surface My Father Didn’t Kill Himself is a mystery book, but right below the surface is a story of how people get over grief. And not just how Delilah gets over her grief of losing the person she idolizes most in the world. Also about how a wife gets over the grief of her husband, a husband that was supposed to provide for her, but instead left her alone and destitute.

Mixed with that is the loss felt by Alex, Delilah's best friend, in losing her best friend to the anguish of grief, watching her slip away and pull back from the world, feeling helpless.

Buy Link

 http://www.amazon.com/My-Father-Didnt-Kill-Himself-ebook/dp/B01CKUZR0A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1458775611&sr=8-1&keywords=my+father+didn%27t+kill+himself+russell+nohelty

Excerpt:

DROWNING

Posted by Delilah Clark × December 15 at 9:31 pm.

Here is what The Suicide Handbook says about drowning.

Drowning in cold water is supposed to be like going to sleep. For me, it was a nightmare.

Shivering, freezing, I sat for a minute until my body

Adjusted to the cold. Then I sunk down under the water. The cold washed over me, but my lungs were on fire. Before I could pass out my natural instincts kicked in. I couldn't fight them. I kicked and screamed

until half the water was gone. I gasped for air. It was frightful.

I performed my experiment much like J. I laid down in the tub until my body adjusted to the temperature. Once I was acclimated, I sunk below the water. I breathed out until there were no bubbles. And I waited. It didn’t take long for the fire in my lungs to start. Soon, it was unbearable. My body thrashed around for a moment before I shot out of the water and gasped for precious air.

I wholeheartedly endorse every word J said.

On top of that I realized something.

If I died in this tub, my bowels would empty, and I would be sitting in feces-filled water until somebody found me. That is not a dignified way to die—my bowel excretion muddying the water and coating me in a fine mist of poop. They’d be scrubbing for days to get me ready for the casket.

No thank you.

CEMETERY

Posted by Delilah Clark × December 16 at 7:22 pm.

Before every session with Dr. Bennett, Susie drives me to the cemetery and tries to coerce me into visiting my father’s grave.

I’d never been to his grave before; not since the funeral. It didn’t seem important to me.

It’s not like he's in there anyway. Maybe his body, but not him. If he’s anywhere, he's by my side as I try to fulfill his last wishes, not hanging out in a cemetery.

But Susie always insists on driving to the cemetery anyway. The cemetery is a weird place full of weird people. There’s this tall undertaker who seems a little too into the dead people’s families. He’s like overeager for them to buy something. His smile creeps me out. 

There’s a grave digger who has to be high on something because he moves slower than molasses. Sometimes I catch the funeral director yelling at him, as if that’s going to motivate somebody that digs graves for a living to pick up the pace. Shocker, it never worked. 

They’re not weird in a bad way though. Some of them I could like if I didn’t hate everybody on principle. There’s this guy who is always reading comic books. He introduced himself to me one day as “Roscoe. Roscoe Fay.” Like he’s James Bond or something. He just sits under this tall oak tree overlooking the cemetery and silently reads comics. I would watch him read sometimes, letting my eye catch a cool image every once and a while.

I would usually just sit there, looking out at the cemetery, until Susie gave up and drove us away. But today was different. Today, I felt a twinge in my stomach, a pang, not quite a stress baby, but maybe a stress zygote, or an unfertilized egg.

I needed to see his grave. I needed to talk to him.

Susie was ready to fight, but before she could open her big mouth I pushed out of the door and walked over to his grave.

It was weird.

For all my research on death, I had no idea how to act in a cemetery. I saw a few people crying over graves and placing flowers on them as they rehashed their day.

That isn’t me. I’m cried out.

His gravestone was simple and to the point.

Tim Clark. Devoted husband and father.

I read it over and over again. Have you ever noticed that any word you say over and over again sounds super weird? Just try saying neck two hundred times and tell me that’s not a silly word by the end?

By the eight millionth silent loop, my dad’s name sounded like an alien language. Maybe Zorgblopple, which I just made up.

“Hey dad,” I finally said. “How are you doing? Probably not so bad, right? I mean worms might be eating your insides, but at least you can’t feel how cold it is, right?”

I paused, waiting for a response from him. I felt like an idiot.

“It’s been snowing here a lot. Remember when Mom went out of town for the weekend and it rained? You always said that God was crying because he missed her. I thought that was silly, but I always think about that when it rains or snows now.”

I liked it. I liked it so much I skipped therapy and sat there most of the day. I really can’t tell you how much better than therapy it is.

Questions for Authors

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp? 

There are two real themes in all my work. The first is the battle between reality and perception. The second is that religion, government, and anybody telling you not to think for yourself should be questioned at all turns. They might be out for your own good, but more times than not they are out for their own gains. 

Both of those themes combine to influence everything that I do. 

Was there an Author who inspired you to write?

I don’t think there was one author. There were dozens of authors I read and liked. There were many that inspired my style. But as far as pointing to one person and saying that guy/girl is the reason I write, no I don’t think I have that. I’m a pretty self-motivated type of person. I tried lots of artistic expression and writing is the one that spoke to me most. 

How did you come up with the characters in your books? 

They come to me. I don’t really believe in writing stuff down. I think that if an idea isn’t good enough to remember it then it’s not worth pursuing. So it’s these characters that come back to me again and again and again, the ones that crash on me like waves that I end up writing. Those are the ones that are going to be memorable to my audience because they are memorable to me. 

What are your current projects?

My current release is My Father Didn’t Kill Himself. It’s a mystery novel about a girl whose father commits suicide and she sets out to prove it’s a murder because she can’t stand the thought of losing him. That’s the one I’m super passionate about right now. 

Then I have another book releasing through Kindle Scout in June called Spaceship Broken: Needs Repairs. It’s about a boy who meets a homeless alien and helps rebuild her ship so she can escape earth. 

Of course both of those are much deeper than the plot. My Father Didn’t Kill Himself is a deep dive into grief, loss, and death. Spaceship Broken is about abuse, trauma, and reality.  

Do you see writing as a career?

Oh absolutely. The problem with most writers and creatives in general is that they don’t see what they are doing as a business. That’s why I created my podcast The Business of Art (www.thebusinessofart.us), to help creatives see their art as a business. Just like any business, it has to be nurtured. You have to spend money growing it. You have to acquire customers. You have to build an audience. You need positive cash flow. 

If you think of writing as a career than it absolutely can be, but if you expect to put out a book and that the audience will just come you’ll be sorely disappointed. 

Do you ever picture yourself and one of your heroines?  If so, which one?

I picture myself as all my heroines, especially when I’m writing them. Each of my main characters comes from a deep, dark place in the recesses of my soul. That’s why I can’t go back and do sequels to my work. Going back is so painful because every book is so personal. 

Do you have a favorite heroine/hero from one of your books? If so, who?

I don’t have one specifically. I will say that Delilah from My Father Didn’t Kill Himself is the dearest to me because I’ve known her the longest. I started writing her in 2008 and she’s stayed in my head all this time. 

What kind of research do you do for your books?

I build all my worlds from scratch. So I do research about certain world building best practices, but because all of my stuff is surrealistic and focused on character perception there isn’t a big need for being accurate. The need is being true to the character. Almost all my pre-work is on character development. It all starts with them.

What is the hardest part of writing your book?

It’s all hard. Every time I write a book I think this one is going to be easier, but it’s not. For me the hardest is getting through the first draft. I always think what I’ve written is rubbish, but when I come back to it a couple of months later I find that it’s not as bad as I thought. It starts to get easier around the third draft, when the book starts to look like a book instead of a bunch of gibberish. It takes me about 5 drafts before I’m confident enough to send it off to my editors. 

If you could say anything to your readers what would it be?

You aren’t alone in this world. It’s easy to feel alone, but there are people out there that get and understand you. They might be few and far between, but the trick in life is to find the people that resonate with you and not worry about those that don’t. 

What is your favorite Genre and why?

I love to read sci-fi most, but I love writing mystery and horror too. I love all spec fiction because it hits you in the same place. Good genre stuff talks about the human condition through the lens of the other. So with something like 1984 we see our world reflected back on us through this dystopian future. I love that. I want books that are entertaining to read AND also have a point.  I’m less concerned with the genre and more concerned with the point of the piece. 

Do you prefer to write alone or do you like to collaborate with other authors?

I always write alone. I keep saying that I should collaborate with people, but I like my writing to be mine. It’s too personal.  I collaborate on my comic stuff with artists and that’s great. I have massive trust issues though. So even if I love somebody’s work it’s very hard for me to imagine them coming through on my project. 

Do you ever get writer’s block? If so, how do you get through it?

I do get it, but I don’t let it stop me from writing. I have a goal every day and if I don’t make it I beat myself up so badly that I can’t stand it. 

But for me writer’s block is an indication that I made a mistake somewhere. So instead of trying to break through it, I really sit back and think about WHY I’m feeling that way. Sometimes I keep going with a project if I think it’s just my own inner child not wanting to do the work. Other times I abandon projects because they weren’t really right for me, or maybe they weren’t right for me to write at that point in my life. 

When you are reading a book, who is your favorite author?

Palahniuk and Vonnegut are my go to for authors. I could read them all day. I could read Siddhartha again and again, and I’m not the kind of person that likes reading books multiple times. Orwell is also amazing. I try to mix it up though. I want to be inspired by new authors doing new things. Even with authors I love I haven’t read more than a couple of their books.

Do you come up with the cover or does someone else do it?

I come up with my idea for the cover design, then somebody else draws it. I have drawn a book before called Gherkin Boy, but I’m not enough of an artist to trust myself with something like a cover.

If you could change anything in your writing what would that be?

I wish I could be more lyrically with my writing. I end up writing like a movie or comic book and leaving tons to the reader’s imagination. When I read books where the author can do an entire page about the color of a chair and make it engaging I’m so envious. 

What book if any would you want to be made into a movie?

I like movies to be movies and books to be books for the most part. I’m always disappointed by book adaptations. I’m excited for the Preacher TV show though. If I have to pick one of my books, then My Father Didn’t Kill Himself, because I love indies. 

Who would you want to play the hero/heroine?

If this was a couple years ago I would say Aubrey Plaza or Chloe Moretz hands down. Chloe could still pull it off. Aubrey is too old now unfortunately. The main character is 16. Elle Fanning would be good.  

Everyone uses computers, tablets, phones and no one uses handwritten form or typewriters, what do you prefer to use? 

Computers for sure. There’s something about the tactile sensation of my fingers gliding across the keys which brings out the writer in me. It has to be my computer too. I can’t use somebody else’s computer and get the same sensation. When I get a new computer I need about six months of use before I can be comfortable enough to write a novel with it. 

Is there a ritual you do everything before you begin your book? 

I like to do some pre-writing and world building. Most of it’s in my head. When I sit down to write now I use this program called Stayfocused which locks down my internet so I can’t get online. There’s a lot of death and pain in my books so I often hesitate editing and writing them b/c I don’t want my characters to die. 

What do you do when you finish your book and turn it in to the editor?

I used to immediately start with something else, but now I have to stop and reflect. I get out into the community and meet people. I try to be more active on social media. I write blogs and host a podcast. There’s a lot of other stuff to do in the world besides write books. So when I’m not writing it frees up about 2-4 hours of my day to do that sort of stuff.